maybe he isn't a good person.
i wonder if my dad will actually die soon. he seems depressed enough to completely give up on living. i feel awkwardly nonchalant about the prospect of this happening. moms is not speaking to me at the moment and i also don't really care. reconnecting with my design work and some friends (all girls, i noticed). i'm not really trying to be nice to people. people like it when you don't care about them. i also think my metabolism is speeding up?? if i was fat on top of all of this i actually would kill myself.