i often (for lack of a better word), become 'obsessed' with certain people who (to my paranoid lil brain) render me socially awkward to the point of autistic due to my inability to construct complete thoughts around said people. currently i'm holding myself back from this 'obsessive' stage and limiting any similar behavior to being 'shy' as opposed to thinking about this person frequently and imagining him/her and i in various situations and conversations. currently the closest person to this is my professor who i don't so much think about but instead wonder whether this person is truly 'happy' in his life and speculate to what his agenda regarding his own happiness might be. it's also totally disconcerting that i 1) nap for approximately 4 hours every tuesday and thursday right before that class and 2) yearn to be in the crew of english lit majors (all male, coincidentally) that sits in the front 2 rows 3) consider taking recreational anti-anxiety meds in an effort to 'loosen up' before this one class that seems 'tense' (to me only, i'm sure). huh.
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