this is my 6th hour watching cbs.. all of the daytime programming is bordering unbearable. i think this is a government ploy to encourage people to get jobs since there won't be anything good on tv during the day. i am currently watching 'the talk' which is the 'the view' with darlene from roseanne on it. she's the angsty, gay(?) one. the overweight black lady is the black one and one of the funnier ones. sharon osbourne is the famous one. my feet really smell but i like it. i haven't showered since saturday but i think i like it. i'm stressed about this vanderbilt thing but i would also be stressed about going back to washu. everything stresses me out. i find myself very easily stimulated lately, which perhaps is a product of my increased introversion. i'm extremely unproductive in the company of friends, so the alone time is good for increasing my 'artistic' output ie sketchbooking and illustrator. whenever i see certain friends now i'm really animated and 'fun'. i'm convincing myself this is a good trade-off since i can develop my 'skills', assuming they exist.

i'm really bonding w my room. i think it's my favorite room that exists. i can't really think of any rooms i love right now though. i really like the art library. that's really just one large room. maybe that's my sercond favorite room.

oh no that wayne brady 'price is right' type show is on. i don't get it, wayne brady and drew carey(?) should quit being shitty gameshow hosts and have another improv special. wayne brady has a wonderfully shiny bald head. i remember having a lot of sexual fantasies about the bald comedian on  a hawaiian cruise w my family. the comedian seemed liked he hated his life a proportionate amount to being a cruise comedian. he was pretty funny and i really wanted to fuck him. i think i was 17 at the time. maybe 16. i ate a lot of pineapple on that trp and puked a really acidic pineapple puke. i think i was depressed at this point in my life.

i'm very stressed out about this semester and my writing and my art and i don't know how much to care about having friends or making new ones or even connecting with people i don't already know.